Six

Why does

every terrific up

have to be met

with a terrific down?

 

Why cannot the glee remain?

Just one last smile, go on it won’t be a late one.

Why cannot I extend

my mirthful séjour-

yes, an extra night in the suite please.

 

Why does the elastic only stretch so far

before snapping back hard.

How cruel

that I don’t even need to pass breaking point

to break.

 

Of course I know

it is better to have frolicked in the clouds

than to never have frolicked at all,

but does the crash always have to be so abrupt

so bitter

like cut metal to the tongue

causing the face to distort

to recoil

to reject such injury.

 

Why cannot I afford the luxury

of being at peace

with the world

with myself

with my mind

for one more moment?

What would it cost

to escape the hands of torment,

to twist free from the snatches

in a woeful, frenzied dance?

 

I would pay it all.

Five

I look back on her years

memories which flicker

like overplayed videos on a worn out VCR;

I watch shapes come and I watch shapes go

seeing things play out

through a lens,

goggles,

eyes that aren’t mine.

 

I feel emotions

like I hear music being played

doors away,

muffled, separate.

 

You took those years from me,

years that I should recall in vibrant, definite

technicolour

not in the mess

a young child makes

experimenting with blues, reds, and greens

on a plywood palette.

 

You stole those moments from me.

Moments I should view from my own perspective,

not a stranger’s.

 

But I am here now,

and I am present.

And like grey fog can burn off to reveal a sunny day,

my own clouds have lifted;

I see again.